legacy: lessons I learned from my 80 year old grandparents

A few years ago I wrote this post on my personal blog. I remember writing it and allowing myself time for reflection. I loved this post. I loved looking back on my childhood and seeing where my grandparent’s guidance had shaped me into the woman I am today.

My mom and dad worked full-time so my sister and I stayed with our grandparents a lot. I spent many afternoons and summer days at their little green 1930s, nondescript home that they lived in for over 63 years.

My nanny was easily one of my best friends. She was a quiet, kind soul who will also surprise you with a little bit of sass when the time calls for it. Her mac-n-cheese would knock you off your seat and if you need a good prayer warrior she was your girl. Her appreciation for genealogy and leaving a legacy has influenced me greatly as an adult. She passed away last year and the hole she left is indescribable but the lessons she left me with are immeasurable.

My grandpa was a WW2 soldier who carried a lot of demons from his time in the war, but he was good to me. I have wonderful memories of visiting my grandpa’s workshop area and watching him tinker with some recent flea market acquisition. While not a very large man, my grandpa had a very large presence. He was highly respected, loved, and feared.

My mom’s parents became like second parents to my sister and I. Growing up with your grandparents 3 miles down the road is one of the greatest blessings I take from my childhood. My grandpa stepped up in a major way after my dad died, and my grandma became my biggest confidant after I got married. These two individuals shaped my life and my heart in more way than I can explain

I cannot put into words how grateful I am that my grandparents played such an active roll in my life.

Thirty year old me looks back at twenty-two year old me and thanks her for this post. For writing this all down before they both passed away and for writing down the legacy of two incredible people.

Things I learned from my grandparents:

Always bring a jacket and wear shoes anytime you leave the house
Never let your gas tank get too low – you never know when you may hit traffic or won’t be near a gas station
Always hold to door if someone is behind you
Know how to use your imagination – be crafty
Never stop learning – take something apart to learn how it works, ask questions, read and do research
Know how to whip up a meal even when you are running low on food or need to go to the store
Respect your elders – say please and thank you, no ma’am and yes sir.
If a friend or family member asks you to do a favor, do it. Never know when you will need them to return the favor.
It’s ok to get aggravated, but be careful who you “vent” too
Always say grace before a meal
Never lose your inner child
Keep your “bad habits” away from kids (my grandpa never smoked around us)
Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do – it’s part of life
Cherish the memories
It’s ok to do something special for yourself.
Be a parent first, friend later
It’s ok to leave the dirty dishes in the sink sometimes
People can change. It may take weeks, months, or years… but people can change
Don’t let anyone dull your shine
Treat senior adults like ADULTS. They have earned it and even with their health failing they do not deserve to be talked to like children.
It’s ok to cry
Never forget the power of a good book
Fashion fades, but style is eternal
It’s never too late to do the things you wanted to do
Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are less of a person.
Don’t let anyone crush your dreams.
Don’t let anyone tell you you aren’t worth it.
When you are feeling down or stressed — pray and “get that devil off your shoulder”
Respect the USA and support our troops
Life isn’t easy and the roads will be rough but don’t let that make you a hard and bitter person
If someone is on your mind, reach out to them. God put them on your heart for a reason
Do not doubt God-engineered encounters
Jewelry is an investment
Hug. Often.
Say ‘I love you’. Often.
You don’t have to have the biggest and best of everything to be happy
Never underestimate the power of a kind word
Sharing a meal with others is the best way to bond
Dogs are more than animals, they are part of the family
Spoil the ones you love
Knowing how to load and shoot a gun, bait and throw a fishing line, and check your cars oil are all things girls should be taught
Never pay full price for anything. Use those coupons and wait for sales!
Make time for your friends
Go pee-pee before you leave the house
It’s ok to buy a ton of unhealthy snack food from gas stations on long road trips
Family is important
Even when someone you loves does something you don’t like, doesn’t mean you stop loving them (Nanny wasn’t too happy about my first tattoo… or second… or my nose ring..)
You don’t have to be blood to be family
Pay your respects – go to weddings, birthday parties, and funerals
It’s ok to move on
Change can be good
Don’t be bitter about the past. God has a plan.
Be careful naming children and pets (having a boy dog named Maddux that goes by Maddi can be super confusing… for everyone…)
Work hard
Knowing how to make a bomb mac-n-cheese and perfect sweet tea is important
It’s ok to not give a card with every gift
Have a good watch
Give back. Tithe at church, donate to charity, volunteer, buy someone a gift just because
Play outside
It’s ok if you make a mistake. Admit it. Move on.
Learning to “drive” on a golf cart makes the whole driving a car thing easier
It’s ok to make too much food
Sometimes things don’t go as planned – just roll with it
Wear comfortable shoes and clean underwear
Admit when you need help. Accept help when it is given
Be spontaneous in old age
Be prepared. Know how to deal with a crisis and keep level-headed
It’s ok if you don’t think all babies are cute
If you get a tattoo, make sure it means something to you
Write things down. If you are going out, have an appointment, need to remember something – write it down!
Drink lots of water
Never underestimate the power of a good ole’ gospel song
Take the time to get to know people. Don’t let age, gender, or place in life deter you from getting to know someone.
Make sure grandparents are active in your child’s life
Turn your cell phone off at church… and at funerals
Take the time to listen & appreciate those around you
Don’t let people take advantage of you. Go with your gut. Ask questions and seek answers
Age is just a number
No matter how old you get, you never lose your sweet tooth
It’s ok to go to the grocery store 3 times in one week
Even though others may think it’s dumb, it’s ok the buy a new car or house when you are in your 80s!
Live it up
Don’t let others opinions weigh you down
Walk.
It’s ok to use salt and butter
Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. You were created by a perfect God. A God that knew exactly what He was doing when He made you. You are beautiful.
We each have a purpose
It’s ok to not photograph everything. Being in the moment is important
Go to family reunions
Some call it hoarding, some call it memories 😉
Not everything you see on TV/internet is true
My faith can and will get me through anything. Doesn’t mean it will be easy.
Pray. Hard and often.
Marriage isn’t about happiness, it’s about the commitment you made to each other
Don’t let laundry stay in the dyer too long or it gets too wrinkly
Celebrate the little and big victories.
It’s ok to keep things but it’s also ok to get rid of things.
You are not a burden to your loved ones. Let them help you.
The only way to heaven is through our Lord, Jesus Christ